Tuesday, July 12, 2005

women are to be balmed? 2

I would say, nobody asks for pain and humiliation but the human nature can get used to it sometimes. Adel 7amouda when he wrote before an article about female’s circumcision in Rosalyoussef magazine and it’s effect on the girl he mentioned that women in our country comes to what they call the slaves complex "3okdet el 3abid" and how it is a part of the human nature to adapt to survive, to get use to something's when it is all what they have, even if it meant getting use to being low and worthless. I think you don’t guess that you have rights unless they get offered to you [offered means getting educated about them] and protected. In the civilized countries this is the role of the government who makes the laws…..How can we blame a glass filled to the top that it couldn’t take any more water? If the WHOLE society works hard to make out of any girl a nice looking pet with the minimum knowledge possible "ota me3’amada ya3ny" isn’t this a credit for the girl to marry in Egypt and all the nations who are blessed with retardation?!!! A society who looks to the female’s value as nothing beyond bed and housekeeping.
احمد فواد نجم
فى"الرسالة رقم 1"
سلمى لى
ع الولاد السمر
خضر العمر
فى عموم الحوارى
سلمى لى ع البنات
المخطوبين فى المهد
لسرير الجوارى
She gets abused sexually and the society and parents oblige her to hide that because she wouldn’t be as innocent [by the means of knowing more about sex] as if knowing by itself it a negative point for the girl [knowing anything beyond cooking and house keeping of course]. When she thinks and she would hear all sorts of criticism that she is a "controlling" and "out of the norm "personality [even if the only one she is controlling is her own mind and life]. I remember when I decided to get another degree and go back to college somebody told me you don’t want to be a mother?!!! [I didn’t know what he thinks I will be then…a grandfather?!!!] Does going back to school wouldn’t make me a mother?!! Wouldn’t give my son a good example to appreciate education, persistency and having a goal in life?Up till that moment the girl who is getting married the future husband has to take permission from her father as if it is a property and ownership and when the approval comes and he marries her the famous quotation will be mentioned "meshmesada2 enek ba2ety melky" to reinforce this ownership thing. After that he starts getting what he believes to be his rights which the biggest of them is having sex. For what they call the "eastern man" having sex is "his right"yemares 7okoko 3alieha" not taking much into consideration his wife’s level of interest in it, while the western man calls it "making love" that if he obliged his wife for it, she can take him to court for raping her and the society will look down at him but it will be the opposite in retarded civilizations like ours, the woman is the one to be blamed for refusing husband call. I was searching the Internet about women abuse when I found a book written by an English or American lady talking about what she called three feminine sorrows in the Arabian woman’s life, her circumcision, wedding night and the birth of her first baby!!!! [she mentioned that it is a common say in africa and arabic countries, she didn't come up with it]The girl who gets in a sexual relation ship before marriage the family would kill her [by the father or the brother or any other man in the family!!!] but if the son of the same family did it, it will be another girls fault but not as big of a problem for the boy himself. When women disagree with the society the society disregards that and under the wonderful umbrella of these stupid laws she losses big part of her dignity and rights as an equal human to the man. Starting from the laws protecting her from spousal abuse, right for keeping her kids if she got remarried [even if she is a widow], getting her husband permission to leave the country [recently changed], inequality in inheritance, treatment, inequality between women’s rights and men’s rights in many different feilds.Did it ever surprise you why people in prison don’t rebel? Do you think it might be because they break their will there in prison, ruin their self image and make them more followers than humans with minds of there own? Can you imagine what will happen if they went against that prison’s regulations?…I am sure they will get much more abuse; physically, verbally, emotionally and mentally. If prisoners who went into prison as an adult having their personality already formed[and probably with courage and enough self-confidence that allowed them to go against the law and commit a crime] end up by breaking up in such a way, is it surprising for you why women feel that low about themselves!!!Should women rebel when they are between the age of 2 and early teenage against circumcision that shakes their whole being and gives the girl her first welcome to the world of abuse? [Some studies showed that about 95% of girls are circumcised]…To rebel against the fear she learns in a very early age till she gets used to it and become part of her being that disables her mind from progressing in a normal right way? I would love them to rebel..But how? This is the question.This girl who later on in her life, she starts hearing from the street, family and of course the TV that women are "naquesat 3akl wa dein" .."malhash ragel yetrad 3alieh"["lozom ta2debha"] of course!!!!!! Which means most of the time physical harm and abuse that most of the Egyptian women are receiving from their spouses, and by the way it seems to be that women gets their "ta2deib" all of their life!! How many movies are not having a husband who slaps his wife on the face or beats her up…it is a very typical Egyptian or Arabic movie seen and we are a nation of what a friend of mine called TV cultured "sha3b sakafto telvizioneia".In all the different levels of this society women are being pushed down in many different ways. The poor classes is being treated much less than pets in civilized countries, or let me say they wouldn’t even dream of being treated like a dog in a western country!! So sad but believe me it is so true… whose fault is this I don’t know!!Notice that according to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, the human needs that shapes our behaviour comes as follow1st the physiological needs: which are the basic needs.2nd safety needs: which is the sence of security in general.3rd love/belonging needs: which involves emotionally-based relationships in general, which includes the need for companionship, family and the need to belong to groups and society.4th esteem needs: which is self respect and need for the respect and recognition by other.5th the Self-actualization which are creativity and morality that is fully internalized and independent of external authority.


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